A Diary

My frustration

As I sit here typing using the computer meant for work feeling guilty of the time spent here, I question my existence and my life. I call it my mid-life crisis, my friends say it is more appropriate to call it a quarterly-life crisis as I am just 23 but it does not feel that way.

My face might be young and wrinkle-free but my soul feels like an old woman; tired of life and wanting it to end. I feel like life has cheated me with its hopes for the future and its endless (?) optimism and just to think I am supposed to be happy as I just graduated a few days ago but all I see in me is frustration that my life could not be what I want it to be. To say it was solely my fault would be wrong as other external factors weigh me down and shackle me to this life of responsibility and mind-numbing existence whilst my siblings roam free to do what they want with their lives.

As the years pass me by I am losing the will to fight for the right to live my life the way I want to, the right to explore and free the bonds that trap my mind… it feels as if the years are dissolving my fighting spirit away and what will be left behind will only be a shadow of me.

 

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